There are some days when a girl’s brain simply refuses to work. I don’t know if I’m the only one but there is at least one day every few weeks when I wake up, try to say something mildly intelligent to my groggy boyfriend and instead spew word vomit all over his innocent face.
Before any misconceptions about what word vomit is, I’ll give you a definition, provided by none other than Urban Dictionary…
Word Vomit: an uncontrolled spilling of words out of your mouth.
And that is exactly what happens. I have even been known to resort to growling when the words aren’t forming correctly, hoping that my True Love will be able to cobble together some kind of meaning from the splurge of sounds frothing from my mouth.
Which, as of yet, he can’t.
Days like this are painfully slow for me. Time seems to come to a standstill. Tasks seem incomprehensibly complicated. Television shows make no sense whatsoever.
On my most recent Word Vomit Day (WVD), I was scrolling through a few of my blogs and spotted a minor grammatical error. Shocked that I had noticed such a thing on WVD, I triumphantly pointed it out to the room.
‘Read this: ‘…in the life of everyone.’ That should be lives. Whoop!’
It wasn’t until a few seconds later that I added the ‘…s.’
This understandably led to a tirade of teasing imitations throughout the rest of the evening. Which would have been fine if I hadn’t leant over to my partner and said, in reference to not having seen him for a few days: ‘I bet you missed me tomorrow.’
I don’t know what happens to me. Without meaning to sound egotistical, I consider myself a relatively bright person, one who can usually engage in conversation, whether it be a debate about religion or a comparison of the latest literary wonders. And yet, on WVD, my brain melts down, provides me with a jumble of words and a confusion of tenses, and combines them together to result in twenty four hours of intensely embarrassing gobbledegook.
And as for my reputation of being at least mildly intelligent…?