Everyone has been let down at some point. Whether it was by your new pet dog who suddenly forgot his litter training after months of cleanliness or whether it was a slip of the tongue on the part of a loved one, leaving you awkward and exposed in a lie…we’ve all been there.
But in some ways, it is much easier to cope with being let down by someone/thing else. We have someone to blame that way when things go wrong or when we get upset. It is far nicer to think that if it had been up to you, this horrible thing would never have happened – YOU would have been much more considerate, YOU would have moved mountains to get things right, because YOU are pretty damn fabulous, unlike those other losers out on this planet.
(No offense of course.)
But when we find ourselves with that twisting knot in our stomachs that tells us we only have our reflection to blame…that’s when things get tough.
Now, instead of pointing the finger of blame elsewhere, you start to run through every failure, every mistake you made on the journey that carried you here. You scrutinise injuries that scupper you, probe at the fringes of your emotions, filter through the limits of your knowledge. And after all that, despite already knowing that you were at fault to begin with, you now feel even worse because you’ve analysed every bad point of your body and convinced yourself that you are a failure of a human being.
My point to all of this is that today I am feeling EXACTLY that way. I made a promise, a plan that I woke up facing this morning and simply couldn’t fulfil. I let myself and the one I love down and I am ridiculously miserable about it.
Which, when you stop to really think about it, is an utter waste of time.
No one can control the challenges thrown their way on a daily basis. No one can hold a hand up to the face of Life and say ‘Please go away, I’m not in the mood today.’
We all know that we feel at our worst when the person we’ve let down is a person we love. Chances are though that our loved one is not nearly as upset as we are-in fact, they may not even consider it an issue, too worried themselves about the state you’re in, and yet we continue to tear our hair out about it.
It’s taken me a long time to realise that ultimately, there is no point wallowing in self pity or despair. If life gets in the way and you have no other choice than to let someone down, then do it. It’s not going to stop or change their love for you. You just have to accept that there are times when you simply can’t do everything.
But you sure as hell can try.