As friends, as family members, as lovers, we all desire one simple thing from those whom we care about:
This is a concept that, although alien to some, is to others a firm ethic by which to live their life.
Truth is the golden rule.
But because we have been told from a young age that to be truthful is the best and the right thing to be, we are not prepared when we are suddenly faced with the dilemma of whether or not it will hurt the one we tell it to.
What do we do if the truth will only cause unnecessary pain? Do we speak it and seek to help those it wounds in the aftermath? Or do we hold our tongue and hope it’s never found out?
I suppose the real question I’m trying to ask here is: Is it ever ok to lie?
There are times when you find yourself the victim of what I call an uncomfortable truth. Facts come to light that until that moment you were unaware of and you find it difficult to know how to react. It can be upsetting; it can be unnerving; it can leave you questioning the reliability of whatever came before the revelation.
On one level you are glad you know. When all is said and done, the more honesty there is between people the closer they can become. You can either cut yourself off from the person, choosing to recreate yourself as an independent individual rooted in solid facts, OR you can choose to move on, forgive if possible and build on what you have. Whichever path you pick, you can progress to better things. You have been hurt, but you have learnt. You can become stronger by yourself or as a team and there is no denying that that is a beautiful achievement.
But on another level you wish you had never found out. There would be no change to what you may have initially considered perfection, no turbulent emotions or questions of trust. It has taken years of self discovery and challenge to reach the point you are already at and you are proud of who you are. Surrounded by people you love and can lean on, you are living in ignorant bliss. Who would choose pain and uprooting over happiness?
I don’t believe that there is a clear cut answer to any of these questions. Every person is different because every person loves differently. I cannot lay down a blanket rule on who can or should tell the truth. I cannot dictate how to react to a truth if it is presented to you.
All I can tell you is what I believe: TRUTH IS AN EXTENSION OF LOVE. Presenting even the ugliest parts of yourself to the ones you love is the strongest demonstration of trust. And without trust, how can you truly love?
This is only my opinion however. You can’t base the way you live on some other persons’ internet ramblings- that would be dishonest to yourself. But you can expand on the ramblings; you can probe your own feelings…
…and you can ask yourself:
What you would do?