There are times when you are stuck in a kind of limbo. You aren’t quite sure what decision you’re going to make. You may be swaying towards option A one moment, before quite decidedly stepping in the direction of option B the next.
I hate times like this. Equally though, they very rarely happen to me. It’s odd for me to be unsure about something, especially feelings. Usually, I know myself pretty well. I know what my reaction is and what it means, and I move on. Right now though, I am having a whole lot of reactions all at once, and none of them seem to be particularly appealing, or in fact, very correct.
Tonight however, it seems that there are forces much greater than me playing a part, and I am feeling very small.
You know the kind of things I mean: a book falling open to a specific page; a line in a film having a special meaning; circumstances falling together so you are alone in a car with the person that you need advice from most before tomorrow comes; and a song on the radio, playing insistently, as if screaming at you ‘Make THIS choice, don’t be a fool.’
Which is great, and all. All the signs from the universe are pointing in a positive direction.
I’d quite like the opportunity to search myself for a while longer. I would quite like the ability to make my own decision, without everything around me trying to make it for me. I’d quite like to be left alone that little bit longer, to be allowed to feel indecisive for one more minute.
So Universe, thank you and everything. But please, I am asking for just a bit of time.
Just. One. More. Minute.